Evan, between questions

Being useful

So I've sort of determined that most of the people in my life only want me around when I'm useful.
My previous best friend of hella days, almost can't stand me anymore. I've recently taken to the idea that we are not friends, which makes things easier because I'm not expecting her to be my friend so when she does something non-friend like I'm not disappointed. It works well most of the time. And when she does something friend like, I'm pleasantly surprised. So most of the time she is really short with me and all but when there is something that she needs me to do for her she gets all nice to me, and all of a sudden wants me to hang out, which she lies to her bf about by the way. He and I don't get along for various reasons, I'm just fine being in the same room with him though, he's getting better, for a while he wouldn't even come in the same building. I work with her by the way.
And my English teacher hates me, on Tuesday it got real bad she was all threatening to drop me from the class if I didn't and shit. Thursday there was no problem, and mysteriously she needed my help with the projector and shit. Hmm this is getting to be way to coincidental.

Whatever, I'm gunna leave anyway, get my ass out of this place. I love the song I'm listening to right now -- Breaking Benjamin - Rain --

Thanks to the peeps last night for coming out to OC Thursday, I really appreciate that, we had 15 people last night. Bob's still getting all pissy about it, I think he thinks we drive away customers. NOT TRUE, we were just 15 people that would not have been there otherwise.
Got to go to work doing books again today.

This space intentionally left blank

Sitting here in the morning.
Supposed to be getting ready for work.
I'm going to leave, I'm not sure when.
Regardless of how the college thing turns out,
I'm leaving.
It's time for me to go.
There's nothing left for me here.
I'm going nowhere.
I've got no reason not to go nowhere somewhere else.

I've discovered I'm incapable of holding a conversation with someone.
I was sitting on a couch in Starbs with LJ and Pat the other day,
I thought we were all talking.
Then some of Pat's friends showed up and he started talking to them.
I realized that I couldn't hold a conversation with LJ,
I'm not sure why.
It led me to the realization that LJ and Pat had been having the conversation,
I had just been inserting little comments here and there.

I'm not sure if I have any friends anymore.
Everyone that I would sort of consider my friend,
turns out to be someone else's friend,
that happens to be able to stand me.